Archive for January 28, 2012
About 9 or 10 months ago I was referred over to a Rhuematologist regarding my chronic pain that fluctuated over various parts of my body & not just my lower back where I suffer from chronic pain due to a degenerative disc disease.
After a series of X-Rays, blood work & going over a history of my various symptoms it was determined that I have Fibromyalgia.
I was relieved to finally have some sort of answer instead of just feeling like it’s all in my head but at the same time I felt that Fibromyalgia was just a fancier word for calling someone a hypochondriac without insulting them.
The last thing I wanted was to be dismissed & told it’s all in my head which is why most of the symptoms I was experiencing (Chronic fatigue, pain all over & not just in my back, occasional blurred vision, bouts of insomnia despite the fatigue, Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks (AKA “fibro fog”), Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (AKA Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Migraines, Jaw pain, EXTREME sensitivity to noise & chaotic type situations, Anxiousness/Anxiety, Reduced tolerance for exercise, painful menstrual cramps & frequent dizziness) I never brought up to the Doctors.
The last thing I wanted to do was bring ALL THOSE up to a Doctor because really, how do you do that without sounding like a whinny Hypochondriac? Even when I did mention the odd ailment (such as the extreme sensitivity to noise) I was told I had anxiety & referred to a counselor. Any testing that was ever done over anything always came negative as well so I felt increasingly more hopeless about it all & did begin wondering if it really was all in my head.
When I was finally told it was Fibromyalgia I started to do more research in an effort to understand it & it all began to fit together & make sense. It really is a valid condition & not a fancier version of being a Hypochondriac. I was incredibly relieved, especially to have an answer for my extreme noise sensitivity & to learn about “Fibro fog” because those two symptoms had been making me feel like I was slowly losing my mind!
For the first 6 months or so I was prescribed Flexeril, which is a muscle relaxer, that I was advised to take before bed. The Rhuematologist figured if I got a better sleep at night & was able to fully relax my muscles that maybe it would help with the chronic pain & in combination with Ultram, which I take for my chronic back pain, & it has helped a bit.
Around November I had a dental appointment & my dentist was alarmed with some sort of hollowing that seems to be going on with my teeth. He said it only happens to people with significantly dry mouth, those who drink excessive soda, or those who heavily use methamphetamine’s. The only thing which applied to me was the dry mouth. He asked if I had dry eyes as well, which I do on occasion, so he suggested I speak with my doctor about it & soon because it could be related to a condition called Sjogren Syndrome.
I went back to discuss these suspicion’s with my Rheumatologist & after more testing it was confirmed that I do not have this syndrome which he said just reinforces his diagnosis of it being Fybromyalgia.
Diagnosing Fibryomyalgia is difficult because it’s a process of elimination. All other possibilities that have similar symptoms need to be ruled out first.
I told him about my research & finally opened up about the array of symptoms I have been experiencing that go beyond chronic pain & fatigue. I finally felt like I could discuss all of this without just being dismissed. He prescribed me Cymbalta & explained that it wouldn’t help immediately but over time he felt it would help alleviate a lot of my symptoms.
For the first 2 months I took only 30 milligrams once a day. It didn’t take long for me to notice it help tremendously with my noise sensitivity & anxiety level caused by it but I was not getting much relief in my pain level.
About 3 weeks ago he upped the dose to 60 milligrams once a day which is the dose most people are on & within a few days of taking this I began feeling an increased level of fatigue. I was taking it around noon however so I decided to try taking it before bed instead but unfortunately it hasn’t helped.
The good news is that my pain level has improved now, along with the extreme noise sensitivity & anxiety caused by it but it seems to be at the cost of extreme fatigue far beyond my usual & I’m going to have to discuss it with the doctor here soon because I can barely function.
I feel like a zombie to say the least. It’s like the worst “Fibro Fog” ever. I sleep fine at night, wake for a couple hours to take the kids to school, have a coffee, check the net, & then I have to take a nap because I can barely keep my eyes open any longer. I pretty well sleep till I have to pick the girls up from school & by 7pm I’m starting to fall asleep again on the couch.
With a baby on the way I’d definitely like to get back to my regular energy level & soon! I just hope we can find a way to do it without bringing back the noise sensitivity & pain.
This is truly a frustrating condition. I feel guilty & beat myself up feeling like a bad mother, wife & friend. I just can’t handle being out & about from activity to activity right now. People see me as a near 30 year old who should be healthy & active. They don’t understand the constant battle I’m having with my body every single day. People expect me to be able to keep up with them & feel rejected when I recluse because I just can’t.
Will this effect my ability to care for a baby? No. I just know it’ll be a lot harder on me physically. Especially with feeling so tired. The sleep deprivation that comes along with having a newborn definitely won’t help but as far as my ability to love, snuggle & care for one, I’ll still be capable…. just tired…. very tired.
I truly hope to find a happy medium in managing all of this & more importantly understanding from the people I love & care about that this is a very real struggle, it is not all in my head, I do not choose to live in a state of chronic pain & fatigue, nor do I choose to be irritated by noise & chaos that happens around me. I do not want to be alone. I do want to participate in things that a person my age should be able to. However right now I just can’t physically do everything I’d like to. When I do push myself to do something it comes at a sacrifice.
