Our adoption homestudy was approved & we finally got everything done for our profile.
One of the agency’s media specialists worked her magic to put everything together into a pretty little profile that will be sent out to birth parents who match what we’re looking for as well as a version of it that will be published on the agencies website for birth parents to view.
We’ve also had one of the agency video camera’s for the last few weeks & have been working on getting various clips of us as a family to send in for another media specialist to turn into a professional looking 3 minute video of us.
I am really not thrilled about being forced to create a video for this. We feel incredibly awkward & uncomfortable in front of the camera as did our friends who participated in one of the “friend interviews” so I fear this video is going to portray us badly & do nothing more than work against us.
This whole thing being mandatory is apparently new for our agency. Our friends who went through them for their adoption 4 years ago never had to do this & even when I read the agency forums I see talk of people not being required to do this even a year ago, but for us it’s mandatory…. as is the $1,300 fee to go along with it.
I don’t know how much exposure we’re going to get either due to being gender specific for a boy but if we haven’t made a match in a couple months I’ll inquire for stats & see if any tweaks need to be made to our profile.
The agency put our written profile “active” on September 26th. So it’s been about 2 weeks now & we’ve heard nothing yet.
They do have a special “situations” page where they post available situations that they’re having trouble finding matches for. Sometimes it’s via 3rd party agencies or attorney’s who are posting it via our agency & in most cases the situations are available in Florida. This is great but at the same time it makes every one of these situations SUPER expensive. Apparently Florida doesn’t have a cap on how much can be charged for adoptions & I’ve heard sometimes they can even be as high as $70,000… That’s insane!!!
I do understand some of the reasons behind the increased fees since our agency has to get their cut & so does everyone else involved in making the match but $70,000 is ridiculous.
There is one on there currently which I inquired about but they still wanted $41,000 & even that is way above & beyond our budget.
They did tell us for the “agency assisted” program that we’re in (which means they will match us with a baby that is African American in full or in part) that our current budget which we have available is about average. So, I’m trying not to let the $41,000 situation freak me out too much because that is a “special situation” & not considered to be average.
Part of me fears we’re going to be waiting forever. That they won’t match us until we significantly increase our budget which we just can’t do or that no birth parent will find us appealing. I read the forums & see other people who were matched within just days of going active & others who’ve been waiting a year… sometimes two!!!
It’s hard not to let that get me down. I know everyone’s circumstances are different. I don’t know the reasons as to why their waits have been so long & I know that the baby who’s meant to be ours will end up with us when the time is right but I really don’t want to have to wait an incredibly long time for this to become a reality for us.
We’ve already been waiting for nearly 3 years! We had requested a fost to adopt placement of a baby boy back in California, when the girls were about 1-2 years old, but then we got orders sending us to Florida. We then pursued re licensing to foster to adopt here in Florida but then Roy got deployed. When he returned we decided to pursue infertility assistance instead, which then lead us back to adoption but this time we chose to go private instead of through the State.
I’m also terrified of the potential that’s there for disruption, meaning a match gets made & then the birth parent/s change their mind. I just pray if this does happen to us it happens before we invest our time & money into traveling to meet her. Before we ever meet & hold the baby.
Sadly, I’ve read a number of stories where adoptive families go through this sometimes multiple times. Where they go all the way to the hospital, are there in the room for the delivery, & are the first to hold the baby, only for the birth mom to change her mind at the last minute. How devastating!
I’m all for keeping families together when it’s for the best & if a mother truly believe she has what is needed to parent then she should if that’s what she wants but it just sucks that there’s no emotional protection for the adoptive family against this happening.
I suppose no matter which way it ends up going someone still ends up hurt. That’s just the nature of adoption.