Archive for June 19, 2011
Unfortunately, I don’t have a fresh post written up for today but since it’s special & I had a pretty awesome one for it last year I’m going to copy & paste it here as well since a simple link to the original post just doesn’t do it justice. I’ve added some minor edits also since some things, like my step father’s passing, have occurred in the last year.
It’s not that I’ve forgotten that it’s Father’s Day today, but more that I have always struggled with the celebration of this particular day.
I grew up without ever knowing who my Father was. I knew his name, had seen some pictures, but I didn’t know him.
Although I desperately wanted to have the opportunity to get to know him, that was never able to happen because by the time I found him… he was dead & along with the news of his death went any hopes & dreams of ever having any sort of relationship together.
Sure, I had a step father (who passed away January 17th 2011, RIP) but he never raised me. I grew up with my grandmother & it was my sister, who is 3 years younger than I, that grew up with our mother & her father, my step father.
To me he has always been her dad & my mother’s husband… but he’s not my father. I don’t say that to belittle him him in any way. It’s just the facts. Still however, I always called him on Father’s Day to wish him a special day (2011 is the first year I won’t be able to)
My relationship with him was more like one of an uncle & a niece… in fact, in the very early years of my life, that’s precisely what I called him when I saw him… “uncle”… because I heard my cousin calling him that & figured that’s who he was.
I have always struggled with this day & remember years of being so angry at school around this particular day (I went to school in Canada where school is in session until mid to late June, not like here in the US where they get out in May). I hated how every Father’s Day we were forced to participate in making special projects to give to them. I would argue that I didn’t have one & didn’t wish to participate & they’d just tell me to make one anyway & give it to my grandmother… but it wasn’t the same.
My gramma was indeed pulling double duty taking on the motherly & fatherly roles in our single parent household but a mother (or grandmother) simply cannot take the place of what a positive male role model can bring to a young girls life no matter how much both she & the school may have felt that she could.
What I have realized however, is that I need to find a way to put my dislike for this day behind me because now there is a very special Father in my life who deserves to be recognized & celebrated to the fullest.
He has been so kind as to come along on this band wagon of taking in children that aren’t ours & accepting them as our own until they were.
He’s opened his heart, his mind & his home.
He’s changed diapers, fed bottles, cradled the crying, & wiped away tears from all of us.
He is kind & gentle, patient & understanding.
He’s been a teacher to our girls & their most favorite person to play with.
He brings them into fits of giggles on the floor around him & I listen as they beg for more.
He wakes early in the mornings, works a difficult job, attends strenuous physical trainings 3+ times a week as a requirement of his job & has a very real understanding of what it means when “duty calls”.
He has always been there for us.
Not only has he provided for us by keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs & insurance to keep us healthy while at the same time giving me the opportunity to be a stay at home mother & consistent care taker in our young childrens lives….
… but he also serves his country too!
I love my husband & his level of devotion & bravery more than words can express. I am so proud of him & couldn’t ask for a better role model & Father for our children.