On Monday January 17th, 2011 my step father, Roger passed away.

He had been battling lung cancer for a few years & also had COPD from many years of smoking, despite the fact he quit 3 or 4 years ago when he first had an episode causing him to not be able to breath, sending him fearing for his life.

There were more pictures floating around from other family members that were a bit better however I chose these because they were mine from memories with him that are mine.

I wasn’t super close to him but he was still a part of my family. My mother’s husband, my sister’s father & I loved him. He was quite the man, so full of personality & wit. I loved to be around him & listen to the many stories he always had to tell.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I JUST got back from Canada a short while ago I was unable to return for the services.

It’s been a long time since anyone I’ve really known has passed on & for that I’ve been truly fortunate. Even though I didn’t know him as well as most of the rest of my family my heart still hurt deeply when I got the news. It hurt realizing he was really gone & that I’d never see him or get to talk to him again. It hurt even more when I thought about how painful this was for my mother, sister & 3 step siblings that he was also the father of.

It also made me sad knowing that I gave him a much wanted complete boxed set of all the seasons of The Sopranos for Christmas but he never even got to watch them. He had been so excited on the phone when he called to thank me saying he could not believe he actually had the complete set, but I guess something went wrong with their DVD player, which they were hoping to soon replace, & unfortunately he passed before that could happen.

I was asked to write something relatively upbeat & humorous for his celebration of life / memorial service & Roy decided to include a writing too. Both were read & I’ve posted them below for those interested.

**********************

ROGER

By: Jody

Roger was the only father figure I ever had. I wasn’t his blood, nor was I raised by him but he always loved & accepted me like one of his own.

I learned a lot from him over the years as I moved from childhood to adolescence to woman hood. He helped me to see that I was beautiful. Something any woman in my life could have said but yet it meant so much more hearing it from him.

As I began to date, Roger looked out for me like any good father would do for his daughter. When I introduced him to my first serious boy friend Roger told him that if he ever hit me he’d knock him out & if he ever knocked me up then Roger would “blow his balls off”… that’s when he offered to show the boy his gun…

I will never forget finding out after coming home from school one day that Roger had accidentally chased my next serious boy friend down the street. The boy had come over to carpet clean my bedroom for me. He saw the door was open & when no one answered decided to just head down to my room to start cleaning. Roger had apparently noticed him at the door, assumed it was a vacuum salesman & ignored him until he heard him walk right in. At that point he chased him out the door & all the way down the road before realizing who it was!

Even after I was married Roger continued looking out for me & once again offered to show his gun to my husband the first time he met him causing my husband to fear slightly for his life since this was his very first time meeting him.

Yes, good ol’ Rog. He was always such a pleasure to be around & had a truly special knack for always making me feel that no matter what, things would be ok.

He will truly be missed & will always have a special place in my heart.

**********************

ROGER

By: Roy

I didn’t know Roger half as well as I would have liked. The handful of times that I did meet him however, left a lasting impression on me.

I will always remember the first time I met Roger. It was the end of November around the time that us Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. Here I am still bleeding blue from not only going through Air Force basic training but also my rather short technical school as well. The Family (heh I make you guys sound like the mafia) was still reeling slightly from the fact that Jody and I got married in what could almost be considered a “shot gun” wedding and I had already met an amazing cast of characters that had (all in their own unique way) helped shape my wife into the woman that she had become.

So one morning, Jody says she wants to take me down the street to meet her Mom and Step Father. At this point I‘m already in Canada, met pretty much everyone else and think how bad can this be? So we drive five minutes down this muddy dirt road, which is already bringing back images of the little town in Texas where I grew up, and we stop in front of this little house with a pasture off of the side. Literally it reminded me of my Grandma’s place before she passed away.

So here I am, in this little house surrounded by Debbie and Rogers stuff, being grilled on everything from American football, which I don’t happen to follow, to American politics, which again I don’t really follow (unless it in some way deals with the military), when all of a sudden Roger says “Do you want to see my gun!?” I remember sitting on the couch thinking “Oh crap… he’s going to shoot me for marrying Jody in the states!” as he pulls out of a cigar box on the table this 22 cal hand gun, shows it to me just long enough to confirm it is in fact real, and then puts it away again.

Thankful to still be alive, I later found out this was just good ol‘ Roger.

This first meeting with him has stuck with me throughout the years and my rather short but enjoyable moments with Roger have always left me with a profound impression of what kind of man he was. He was a proud and loving husband and father. He also had a keen wit and a good understanding of how things worked and what was going on in the world. He was always quick to laugh and enjoyed a good meal with family. I’m saddened that I will not get to know him further, yet at the same time am gladdened by the few short instances I did get to spend with him.

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