Archive for September 22, 2010
When you log in & decide to join a random 5 man group to do a quick dungeon run in order to quickly make some much needed gold so that you can afford the repair costs for the 10 man raid that your scheduled to be the healer for later that night, only to be told all throughout the 5 man random group that you suck as a healer & must therefor be retarded. Then, later that night during your raid, get yelled at for trying to explain your thought process behind something stupid you did being told your thoughts are just excuses and that no one wants to hear you speak. Basically, just shut up, heal & stop making mistakes but no one cares if you have a brain or anything going on in it.
Of course this probably only makes sense to those of you who play World of Warcraft but perhaps I’ve explained the situation & my disgruntlement due to it well enough that others might understand it too.
Roy & I have been playing WoW off & on for nearly 6 years now. Roy more so than myself. A “raid” is basically a group of 10 or 25 real people who play their characters all together in a combined effort to defeat an extremely difficult set of “bosses” that can not be accomplished with any smaller of a group & we do this in an effort to receive awesome loot that drops off the defeated boss, which is usually something like an awesome piece of armor (chest piece, boots, belt, gloves, helmet, leggings, or cloak), ring, trinket or weapon that serves to make your character stronger & more superior in it’s talents & abilities.
Roy has been raiding with this specific group of people pretty much steadily for years. I on the other hand only raided with them for a short time back before we first ended up with Alanna & then I started again back around the beginning of this year… mostly because by doing so it would allow me to spend more time with my husband instead of being off doing two separate things all the time.
It was great fun at first. I loved the challenge, thought the people were funny, the loot was great & I very much looked forward to raid nights which started off being 4 nights a week, 3 hours a night. That eventually cut down to 3 nights and more recently 2… if that sometimes.
People are just burning out trying to finally down the last & final boss before the new expansion for the game comes out. We all make mistakes sometimes but every mistake that’s made directly impacts the group as a whole & if too many are made it ultimately leads to the failure of the group in being able to successfully down a boss. Every time the group wipes (everyone dies) we all (in a ghost like form) have to run back from the graveyard to where we died, then pay a large sum of gold for repairs to our gear so that we’re at full durability again & then start the fight all over. This takes time. People get frustrated with one another, rude things are said, people screw up more due to the stress… Ultimately it stops being fun.
That’s pretty much where I’m at now. I just no longer feel the need to log in and be treated sub human due to my inadequacies as a gamer. I am not super, I am not overly observant, I stress & overwhelm easily during these fights & when I feel nothing but finger pointing instead of support & encouragement I just shut down inside. I don’t need this!
I don’t mean to turn on the “pitty party” as I know there’s people in this world experiencing far worse things & I shouldn’t complain but the fact of the matter is I have bigger things happening in my life with trying to raise two 3 year old’s by myself right now, with worrying about the safety of my husband who’s over 6000 miles away & who I miss terribly, with not having any close family even remotely near by to turn to for help & support if we should need it.
Why on earth do I need to stress myself out for this? Sure, I want to down that last boss as much as everyone else to feel that sense of accomplishment, but at the end of the day this is just a game. It’s supposed to be fun… and somehow that aspect has gotten entirely lost.
Most importantly, is any of this really going to even matter five years from now? Ummm NO.
So the other night, after ending up literally in tears after being cut off & belittled by someone I actually had a tiny bit of respect for, I decided enough is enough. I stuck with it for the team to finish off the rest of the night but after that I submitted my resignation for both the 10 & 25 man raids with this group.
The other thing that saddens me is that Roy has devoted hours of his life raiding with this particular group of people. They’ve been doing this together for years. That equals out to be a whole lot of time together! They all knew about his pending deployment but since he’s left not A SINGLE ONE OF THEM has even so much as asked how he is….
What an awesome bunch of people to waist your time with.